Holding Hands Against Their Will
by Fin Ravel
Summary: Snape and Hooch get in trouble with Dumbledore and McGonagall, so they spend the rest of the Christmas vacation under a strict 'like each other NOW' agenda.
1. Chapter 1

The school filed in for the most excruciating meal of the year- the second to last meal before Christmas vacation. Everyone was already talking about what they were going to do over break, except for the unfortunate number who had to stay at Hogwarts- a good many this year!

Dumbledore stepped in to the all and up to his seat, where he gave a short speech before sitting and allowing the school to start its meal. Rolanda sniggered into her salad as she watched a certain greasy haired professor drink from his goblet, until what she was waiting for happened!

Snape spewed the contents back in to the cup as best he could while trying to erase the memory of that terrible taste. He shot a killing look at Rolanda and kicked her under the table- not an easy thing to do, considering Sybil Trelawney was in the way.

"Severus!" Sybil fixed him with her overlarge, sparkling eyes and admonished him for what she mistook as footsie. Severus' eyes grew large and he leaned away from her, explaining in an almost sickened tone what happened. "There's no need to be coy with me, Severus!"

Rolanda snorted with glee, "Yes, Sevvie-poo!" She stopped for a moment and started to laugh even harder when she saw the disgusting look pasted on to Severus' face as Sybil's hand rested on his upper thigh. Severus threw his napkin on the table and fled to his dungeons as Rolanda squealed with merriment. She quieted down when she noticed the students staring at her and returned to her meal. "So are you going to go after him?" A tumultuous roar of laughter threatened to escape her, but she held it in. "You know, he's really had the hots for you for some time- this entire evening was probably planned."

Sybil shot Rolanda a look of sugar candies, chocolates, and long stemmed roses that reminded Rolanda of a Valentine's Day card she almost gave her mum once. Sybil stifled a girlish giggle and said "He probably needs to freshen up and clean his room; I sense that there is a small disaster- probably a mess- waiting for him on his bed. Oh, how can one with such clear vision be so blind to all of the signs? Why, just this morning as I was delivering a package I noticed in the owl excrements that a dark handsome man would fawn on me today!"

_So she has a certain amount of her great grandmother or whoever it may be's blood in her- how else could she have known about my little Christmas surprise for Severus? _"Yes, how blind can someone be. So are you going after dinner? This morning I went in to his office and saw an unopened bottle of women's perfume, a rose, a bottle of red wine, and some scented candles!"

Sybil gasped and rearranged her many shawls. "Do you think...?"

"I know." Yet again, the urge to laugh was so strong Rolanda thought that she might burst.

"Well, then I'll probably freshen up a bit, maybe put on a different dress..."

Rolanda excused herself from the table with "Don't wear anything too complicated, dear." Instead of heading to her rooms she made her way to the Staff Room, and when she got there the merriment that threatened to escape her control all evening burst unbidden from her lips. After several minutes she came to her senses, wiped a bit of drool off her lips, and Flooed to Severus' room.

When she stepped out of the fire she saw that Severus truly was preparing for company- she thought that she was just messing with Trelawney, but maybe there really was something there between the two of them. Rolanda sprawled out on the well worn sofa about a foot from the fireplace and rested her hand against the wall- to her surprise, it was warm and dry. There was a small coffee table resting between the sofa and a rather comfortable looking high backed chair, all surrounding a beautiful dark Persian looking rug. Rolanda waited for Severus to notice her presence, but he seemed to be too distracted with cleaning. She held her breath as he went in to his bedroom, anticipating the look on his face when he saw what she did.

"HOOCH!"

Rolanda sprawled out even more on the sofa just to be sure she looked relaxed. When he ran out of his room, she replied, "Yeah, Sev?" Severus glowered at her, his anger too advanced for words. "You like it, I hope." Yet again, Severus could only shoot her killing looks. "It wasn't too overboard, was it?"

"You!"

"Can you be a little more articulate, please?"

Severus started to walk towards her. "What are you doing in here?" He spat. "Wait, I know: trying to make my evening as bad as the rest of my day so far if not worse!" Rolanda was still relaxing on the sofa when Severus grabbed her wrist and pulled her up.

"Hey, easy there!" Rolanda may have been an athlete, but she couldn't break Severus' grip on her arm. To her relief, he let her go.

"Get out, you filthy wench!" He hissed, "You may have everyone else here wrapped around your little finger, but you have no right to be anywhere near my things! Get out!" He violently thrust his hand towards the exit, scarcely missing Rolanda's face.

"It was just a joke!" Rolanda yelped "If you don't appreciate my sense of humor then maybe you should have actually told me instead of just letting me walk all over you!" She marched towards the door and turned back towards him, saying "You vile old man! You can clean that up with a wave of your wand and you decide not to simply because it was my prank! I-"

"DON'T TRIFLE WITH ME, WOMAN!" Snape roared, but as he slunk towards her his voice dropped to a low hiss. "I've put up with worse people than you and if you think that just because _you_ were the idiot to put that in my room after leaving one of the largest messes that Hogwarts has ever seen in a private room, then you're gravely mistaken; just because I don't appreciate your sense of humor doesn't mean that I hate you." He was towering above her now, his greasy hair licking her cheeks. "I hate you simply because that's the basis for our relationship!"

Rolanda could feel the tension between them tighten in her throat, so she pushed him away; but unfortunately for her he was planning on advancing further and the force of her blow forced her backwards. Her cheeks became a bit hot, tears began to well up in her eyes, and she knew that if she didn't get out of there she would start to cry in front of him- something he would never let her live down. She started toward the exit once more, but before she got there something hit her square in the back.

She howled and fell to the floor, crippled in pain- it got her right in her old Quidditch injury. "You bastard!" Rolanda whipped out her wand and faced him, but instead of shooting a spell at him she charmed a teapot to fly around the room like a Bludger. While Snape was distracted with the teapot-bludger, she ran at him and punched him in the nose, knocking him to the ground and spraying blood on his carpet.

"Hooch!" Snape cried. "Get out of my rooms!"

"Go to hell you vulturous cretin!" Rolanda jerked on the doorknob and was about to leave when the teapot she charmed knocked against the door. Unluckily for her, Snape had used the same technique she employed earlier against him and he pinned her against the floor while she was ducking from the bludger-like abomination. He started to choke her and soon she was clawing at his cheeks for want of either air or retaliation- whichever came sooner.

At that moment the door opened and both heard Trelawney's voice. _"I've got a crush on you,"_ she sang._ "My sweetie pie!"_

"Oh, no." Snape whispered. Rolanda smiled and would have laughed if it weren't for her crushed windpipe.

"_All the day and nighttime, hear me si-" _Trelawney gasped at what she saw, though neither Rolanda nor Snape tell exactly what she interpreted it as simply judging from the look on her face. "Expelliarmus!"

Snape and Rolanda were thrown apart and their wands fell at Sybil's feet. Rolanda gulped in air as a dried fish would water, and Severus sat dumbfounded next to her. Sybil stood near tears for a few moments but regained her composure enough to think of something to do: in this case, call the Headmaster and ask him what to do.

Both Albus and Minerva came out of the fire after being summoned, and after that Sybil quickly made her leave. "What are we going to do with you two?" Minerva asked as she and Albus helped the two others up. They all walked over to the sofa and sat down with the exception of Minerva, who was busy trying to round up the teapot.

"Minerva, don't worry about the rogue teapot, it will come down of its own accord." Albus said as he shifted in his seat- sitting between Snape and Hooch seemed to be the most dangerous thing that he had attempted in months! "Perhaps we should simply have some tea and go to bed, considering the time."

"Albus! This is the third physical altercation that these two have gotten into in a month! This is no time for tea!" Minerva fumed.

"Now Minerva, neither of us know whether this went beyond a few cruel words maybe if-"

"There's blood all over the place! There's a flying teakettle swooping around the room! What do you mean 'cruel words'?" She spat.

"Minerva, calm down!" Albus said.

"She's right though. Snape and I were throwing blows before Trelawney came and interrupted us." Rolanda joined in.

Severus rolled his eyes and said "You mean I was beating you when Trelawney came in."

"Lucky your sex life was about to pick up before I died, eh Sevvie-poo?"

"So were you in my rooms because you were hoping to watch?" Severus jeered. "I only ask because of the dry spell that you've been experiencing ever since the chimera died.

"SILENCE!" Albus stood and faced the two with a formidable expression on his face and was joined by Minerva not a moment later; the two stared Severus and Rolanda down for several minutes before saying anything. "We should all have a rest and discuss this if not in the morning then right now. Perhaps what the two of you need is a trial separation period- both of you will take a paid vacation over the break to different places and sort out your feelings."

Minerva shook her head and beckoned to the Headmaster, who had sat down again. "Albus, a private word? That is, unless these two can't be left alone without killing each other, of course."

Albus stood and looked to each of the teachers, waiting for a response. "Hooch couldn't even kill a fly unless she was straddling a broomstick, so it doesn't really make a difference to me."

"The only way Snape could hurt someone is if he were to blind them by bouncing the light off of his forehead and nose, so considering the poor lighting in here, I'm not too worried." Rolanda quipped.

Minerva's mouth halfway twitched at Rolanda's remark and she and Albus walked to Severus' bedroom door. "This is the...?" Minerva asked.

"Bedroom." In response to Severus' answer, the two entered.

Rolanda took a breath as if to say something, but Severus cut her off. "Whatever it is you're going to say, I don't want to hear it."

"I wasn't going to say anything."

"Oh, right! The day you don't have anything to say is the day Hufflepuff wins the House Championship."

"I didn't say that I had nothing to say, I said I wasn't going to say it."

"And actually keep something on your mind? I didn't know that you actually used it for something!" Snape feigned wonderment for a moment and then resumed his haughty demeanor.

"Are you trying to start some kind of fight with me, Snape? It must be all that pent up sexual energy."

"You hag."

"What, not even a proper insult? Oh, you're probably afraid of Dumbledore finding out you disobeyed one of his 'silent orders'."

Severus jumped up and towered over Rolanda. "Leave me alone, you aging flat-chested lesbian!"

At this, Rolanda stood and pushed Snape away. "You wad of phlegm!"

"Rolanda, Severus, please calm down." Albus walked out from behind the doorway with a disappointed expression on his face, but as Minerva stood next to him everyone noticed the look of wild amusement on her face.

"What's going to happen to us?" Rolanda asked.

Minerva stifled a slight giggle, Albus ignored it. "Your treatment of each other is simply unforgivable, and as such we have decided that now is the time for affirmative action. Minerva devised a brilliant agenda that will get the two of you to warm up to each other; it will start on the first day of Christmas vacation.

* * *

Well, it's a new story. Cool, and be nice to Shakers. Oh yeah, communication between colleagues is an excellent thing, so if you so choose to communicate a note or letter in the form of a review, thatwould be most awesome. 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I'm dirt poor. I can't afford to pay for all the damage caused by the characters in the HP universe. All credit goes to J.K.

* * *

The next morning, Rolanda awoke to the sound of rapping on her door. She first tried to blot out the noise by pulling her blankets over her head, but the unnaturally cold temperature nipped at her toes and forced her out of bed- at least long enough to find some socks and to shut the open window. The knocking got louder, and she heard Minerva's voice. "Rolanda, open this door right now! I know you're in there!"

"I'm coming, unknot your panties!" Rolanda shouted. She smacked herself on the forehead for not realizing that she could simply summon socks instead of wasting time actually _looking_ for them. The knocking stopped for a moment, but it started again, this time louder and more aggravating until Rolanda finally made it to the door.

Instead of seeing only Minerva there, she saw Albus- and behind him, a very aggravated Severus Snape. "Good morning, everyone!" Rolanda tried to look chipper, but the thought of what was in store for her and Severus put a lump the size of a Quaffle inside her throat. She cleared her throat and as Minerva, Albus, and Severus bustled across the threshold became quite self-conscious about how she was dressed.

She summoned her robe and shrugged it on as everyone made their way to a seat- Albus and Minerva in comfy chairs opposite the fireplace, and Severus situated on the right side of a love seat against the wall near the two chairs. As Rolanda sat down next to Severus on Minerva's command and looked at her company she didn't feel so uptight about being in her pajamas- Severus didn't even have a robe!

Albus seemed to take pity on him and asked Rolanda's permission to start a fire. She thought about it for a moment, but before she even had a chance to answer Minerva already had a merry flame crackling in the fireplace. "As you recall from last night," Minerva started, "your behavior towards each other is simply deplorable and must be remedied as soon as possible." She sighed as Albus conjured up a tea tray and some biscuits. "Albus and I have devised a plan that will last for exactly one week unless your outlooks in regards to one another improves, in which case, you will have to endure over all of the breaks- including summer vacation- until you can get along."

Rolanda graciously accepted the steaming cup of tea from the Headmaster and watched Severus take his mug with a barely audible 'thank you' and a sneer. "Rolanda, please extend your right hand." Minerva's eyes twinkled with anticipation as Albus spoke. "Severus, please extend your left hand." Both complied, and Albus continued. "Join hands." As they did so, both Albus and Minerva started muttering under their breaths and circling their wands over Severus and Rolanda's hands.

After a moment, it was all over. "I don't feel a thing." Rolanda laughed. "When it comes to punishments, Minerva, you sure have dropped the bar since I was in school." She tried to pull her hand out of Severus' grasp, but he was unrelenting. He adopted a look of panic as he looked from his hand to the Headmaster, and soon joined in Rolanda's attempts to get unstuck. The corners of Minerva's mouth twitched upward and Albus' eyes sparkled as the two watched their colleague's futile attempts at parting. "Damn, maybe you haven't lost your touch!"

Severus snarled and his brow furrowed in concentration as he took his wand out and started muttering various countercurses. "I daresay you won't get any farther that way- the only way to be able to let go is to appreciate each other." Albus finished his tea, proffered his arm to Minerva, and the two left without another word.

"Damn you both to a life as a Muggle!" Severus barked as he threw his mug of tea at the closed door.

"Snape, be careful!" Rolanda shouted as she waved her wand in the general direction of the mess to mop up the spilt tea and glass shards. After about five or ten minutes she doused the fire and started to walk towards her wardrobe but once Snape caught on to what she was doing he stopped dead in his tracks.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"What do you think I'm doing? I'm getting dressed." Rolanda paused for a moment and realized what he meant. "Where do you think Dumbledore and McGonagall are right now?"

"Chances are they're either eating breakfast or getting dressed." Before Severus even had time to react, Rolanda pulled him to the newly lit fireplace and Flooed to Minerva's rooms.

"Minerva? Minerva, we need to talk right now!" Rolanda marched towards the bathroom door and was again stopped by Snape.

"What do you think you're doing, woman?" He hissed.

"Hold on a moment!" Minerva called. As she stepped out of the bathroom in a towel, Severus threw both hands up to shield his eyes and inadvertently jerked Rolanda back several feet, forcing her to crash in to a small coffee table and roll on to the sofa. The whole unfortunate predicament was not over, however. Severus, pulled along by the weight of Rolanda's falling body, landed on her legs and in an attempt to get away jumped over the sofa's back and landed right on top of a stack of graded papers, sending parchment flying everywhere. Rolanda, being pulled along like an anchor, also ended up over the top of the sofa and nearly broke her wrist when she landed next to Severus.

Minerva changed in to her emerald teaching robes with a wave of her wand and helped the two teachers up, laughing the entire time. "Are you alright?" She asked when her mirth subsided.

"Minerva, how am I supposed to bathe with this corvid idiot holding my hand?" Rolanda fumed.

"You both will simply have to work together, I suppose." Minerva replied with a hint of amusement in her voice. Rolanda stamped her feet in frustration and tugged Severus back through the Floo system to her rooms. She thrust her wand through the air so violently the comforter on her bed ripped in two and her wardrobe door cracked as it slammed shut.

Severus snatched her wrist out of the air with his free hand and said "Calm down! You're going to kill us both!" Rolanda glared at him, but her hand went limp and he continued. "If you had actually thought before you acted, then we might have stood a chance of having private showers- chances are McGonagall is on her way to tell the Headmaster about what happened and to convince him not to grant us shower rights!"

Rolanda fumed at him and said "So that was my fault. You seem to forget that if you hadn't hit me with that spell I would have left and we wouldn't be in this situation!" By the time she finished, she was at a near shout.

"And what about the 'present' you left for me?" Snape hissed. He tugged Rolanda to the bathroom and summoned a set of robes, then threw them on the floor near the shower. "Go ahead- take your shower!"

"Pervert." Rolanda growled as she picked up her clothes. She then dropped them and performed a simple Switching Spell, then glared at Severus some more. She sighed and said "We're both going to have to shower some time- well I am, at any rate. Are you allergic to soap or something?" He sneered at her, but said nothing. "My hair's going to end up bothering me eventually; it might even get to be as greasy as yours."

Severus dragged her to his rooms through Floo and Switched his clothes out as well. "I'm not going to subject myself to the embarrassment of being seen in public with you- even if it's only around the students and staff."

"Well that's too bad because I've got to supervise remedial Broomstick practice."

"I have three detentions today and I don't plan on being late- do you think that you could sit under my desk for eight hours?"

"No one else in this school is certified to supervise my class. Hope you can find a substitute on such short notice."

Snape was about to retaliate when Albus' head popped into view in the fireplace. "Ah, so you got dressed without a hitch. Minerva and I have arranged for any discrepancies in terms of your schedules." He handed each of them an individual slip of parchment and disappeared with a pop.

Rolanda and Severus stood silently- to the untrained eye almost companionably- until they finished looking over the schedule for the day.

_Day one of Christmas vacation agenda:_

_8:00- 8:30 _

_Breakfast in Great Hall_

_8:30- 10:00_

_Remedial Broomstick Practice_

_10:00- 12:45_

_Detention in Dungeons_

_12:45- 1:50_

_Lunch in Great Hall_

_1:50- 4:15_

_Detention in Dungeons_

_4:15- 7:30_

_Broomstick Maintenance_

_7:30- 8:35_

_Dinner in Great Hall_

_8:35- ?_

_Staff Meeting_

Severus groaned and stomped over to his sofa, yet again forcing Rolanda to stumble and crash in to a coffee table. "Watch it!" Rolanda whined as she grasped her knee after sitting down next to him. She checked the time and said "Well, we missed most of breakfast- we can still get something from the kitchens before supervising Broomstick Practice."

"How do you expect to fly when we're bound together like this?" Severus sneered as he stared at the fire.

"I don't know, okay?" Rolanda replied in an exacerbated voice. She jumped up and pulled Severus along with her to the kitchens. When they got there, a lone House-elf greeted them and asked in its squeaky voice if they needed anything. "Erm, I would like a bit of toast, and Professor Snape here would simply adore any scraps of raw meat you may have laying around."

The elf looked confused, and Snape said "Toast would be fine." He jerked his left hand down and Rolanda went down with it, and in retaliation she stamped on his foot. He looked as if he might howl for a moment, but he regained composure as the elf returned with a tray laden with marmalades, jams, jellies, apple butter, cream cheese, margarine, and several different varieties of toasted bread.

Rolanda selected a piece of wheat toast and was about to put some apple butter on it when she ran in to a problem- she could only use one hand. "A little help, Severus?"

Severus sneered down at her and looked as if he were about to refuse when Rolanda started to squeeze his hand until the bones seemed as if they would break. Even as he spread the toppings on her toast, he looked as if he would rather have swallowed undiluted Bubotuber pus than help her. He then grabbed a piece of wheat toast and decided to eat it plain instead of asking for assistance.

"I wonder if we can switch hands, or if we're stuck like this." Rolanda wriggled her right arm as she spoke and earned a glare from Severus as they walked down the corridor.

"Perhaps we should be more worried about what to do when we get to the Great Hall- I, unlike some, have an image to maintain."

"You mean the image of the illegitimate and unwanted son of a manticore and vampire? You could just pretend that you are kidnapping me- that might even make you seem even more formidable."

"No, it would make me look like I had bad taste in women."

Rolanda veered her course to the right and increased her speed until Severus was forced into the side of a statue. At that moment, a seventh-year Ravenclaw boy was walking past. "Mr. Connelly!"

The boy stopped at the sound of Rolanda's voice, and she continued. "Mr. Connelly, why don't you go get your broom and help me with watching over remedial Broomstick Practice?"

His eyes widened and his jaw dropped for a moment before answering. "Yes, of course! When do I need to be there, Madame Hooch?"

"As soon as possible, it's starting in just a few minutes."

"Yes, Ma'am!" The boy doubled back down the hall and ran until he was out of sight.

Severus got up from the crouching position that he had assumed and glowered in the direction the boy ran. "I don't know how he managed to get in to Ravenclaw." Rolanda chuckled under her breath and shook her head. "Oh, shut up!"

The two got out to the Quidditch Pitch without further incident- probably because they decided to forgo conversation. "Mr. Connelly, right on time. Professor Snape and I will be monitoring you from the ground and giving you instructions, but you will do the actual teaching."

"Thank you, Madame Hooch."

Rolanda laughed. "I should be thanking you for doing my work for me!" A fairly small bunch of first, second, and third years were waiting on the Pitch as the teachers and student approached. "Remember, Mr. Connelly- these students do not show the same aptitude for flying that you did at their age, but they are eager and want to learn and improve."

"Yes, ma'am." The students all lined up in two rows of four at the sight of Madame Hooch and ceased all conversation until they saw her and Professor Snape sit down in the lower bleachers.

"Don't let them go any higher than twenty feet or so, alright?" She called as he ran to stand at the head of the two lines.

"Yes, ma'am!" He answered.

"Come back here." Snape ordered. He doubled back and Snape handed him a small earpiece. Rolanda was given one as well and they both wriggled the pieces on to their heads. Snape gestured to the students on the field and Mr. Connelly yet again ran to take his place at the head of their ranks.

"Testing, Quaffles and Bludgers. Testing, one two." Rolanda said into the air. "Can you read me?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Okay, my prodigal son, do you remember the first lesson?"

"Mount brooms and hover?"

"Exactly." The rest of Broomstick Practice went on without a hitch, and before moving on to the next activity Rolanda and Severus hung back to congratulate the student teacher. "Mr. Connelly, you certainly have a knack for teaching!" She was about to say more when she noticed him staring at her right hand. "Is there something wrong, Mr. Connelly?"

"No, ma'am." He continued to stare at her and Professor Snape's intertwined hands for a bit longer and abruptly turned and walked back towards the school.

"He didn't notice a thing; I hope that everyone else is asblind as he." Snape jeered as they followed him to the castle.

"So why don't you like him?" Rolanda asked as they entered the Great Hall. Decorations were already being put up for Christmas, including trees, banners, and mistletoe.

"What's to like? He obviously doesn't have any ability for any kind of comprehension in anything other than the physical arts and even then he lacks the ability to work in a group setting. You saw how he taught today- he only worked on an individual scale and there were several times when if not for your instruction a disaster would have occurred." Snape retorted with a frown.

"This is the first time he's done this before- don't you remember your first days of teaching? I'm sure that they were nearly identical to what happened today." Rolanda countered as the two avoided peculiar looks from teachers and students on the way to the Dungeons. She wriggled her right arm until Severus shot her a killing look. "What? Your palm's getting sweaty."

Severus opened the door to the Dungeons and at first Rolanda didn't see any students until her eyes properly adjusted to the darkness- and even then, there were only three people in the room. With a wave of his wand, Severus placed three cauldrons in front of each student and said "As you can all see, these cauldrons are filthy." Another wave of his wand produced brushes and cleaning solution on each occupied desk. "This cleaning solvent is incredibly dangerous, so you all must be very careful not to get any on your skin."

A small buzz of whispers from the three students regarding Snape and Hooch's hands being clasped together started. "Silence! Detention starts now." The two teachers sat at the front of the classroom and didn't speak until lunchtime.

"I'm not going to lunch with you." Rolanda said as she stood up and conjured up a cup of tea.

"Don't deny your feelings any longer, Rolanda. You know that you want to make our relationship public; I know that I do."

"Shut up," Rolanda snapped. "Let me think."

"It gets hard use your brain after years of little or no use, or so I'm told." In response, Rolanda grasped his elbow with her free hand and used her right hand to force his arm backwards until Snape wriggled free. The doorknob turned and came forward, and in reaction Snape forced Rolanda under the desk.

"Severus, are you busy?" Sibyl's voice called out, and Severus answered with a 'no'. The door opened all the way and shut again after the Divination instructor stepped over the threshold. "Oh, I'm glad." She sighed. "We need to talk."

Severus sat down and gestured to a chair sitting in front of his desk. Rolanda couldn't help but laughing until she received a harsh kick in the side. "About what, Sibyl?"

Sibyl sighed in exacerbation and said "About us, about our relationship." Tears were streaming down Rolanda's cheeks from the contained mirth by this time.

"I'm a bit confused- we aren't in a relationship." Severus said.

"Oh, but you want to be!" Sybil shouted as she pounced over the desk and started to madly and passionately kiss him.

Severus pushed her away, jumped up, and stood in front of the desk in hopes of blocking Rolanda from view. "Sibyl!" He shouted. Tears welled up in her buggy eyes and she ran from the room without another word.

Rolanda got up from her crouching position and said "Well that was an interesting experience." She laughed, and said "'Oh, but you want to be!'"

"You are not to speak of that to anyone, do you understand me?" He hissed.

"I'll talk to anyone I choose about anything I bloody well wish!" Rolanda retorted, and then picked up her tea, which had cooled to room temperature by then. "Stupid tea." She pulled out her wand and uttered a Warming Charm after slamming the cup on the desk. Severus gave her a curious look and conjured a bowl of soup for himself. "What?"

"Beg pardon?"

"What was that look for?"

"Nothing."

"Oh, right." They sat in silence until 1:50- the next detention session. Rolanda crawled under the desk on Snape's orders, but probably would have done so anyway.

"Settle down. You all should be grateful towards the fourth years that finished all of the work that I had lined up for all of my detentions today- instead of my going out of my way to find something for you all to do, you will be sitting in silence for the remainder of this period." He pulled out a book and placed it spine-down on the desk so he would be able to turn the pages when necessary. Although the period probably passed quickly for the Potions Master, it went agonizingly slowly for Rolanda- the only relief from the boredom of sitting at Snape's feet was pulling his leg hairs from time to time.

Finally, 4:15! The students filed out of the classroom and Rolanda jumped up with a relieved sigh. "That was fun, we should do that again some time! I-" She stopped cold at Snape's cue, and as she turned around she saw a student, Baley Grimm, standing in front of them. "Miss Grimm, you are certainly a sight for sore eyes."

Baley blushed and muttered something behind a shield of brown hair before turning and running out of the room. Rolanda sighed and Severus fumed "Fantastic. The implications of this incident alone are staggering!"

"She's a good girl, and a shy one at that. I doubt that she'll tell anyone of this." Rolanda tugged Severus to the Quidditch Pitch. "If it makes you feel better, no one will see us together in the Equipment Shed."

"What would make me _feel better_ is for us to not be together at all." Snape jeered.

"Look, I don't like this arrangement any more than you do, but we can at the very least try to get along until either Albus or Minerva take pity on us and tear us from the shackles of each other's company." Yet again, Severus gave her an odd look. Rolanda fumed at him, but didn't say anything about it. "The Quidditch equipment is actually in very good repair; it just needs a bit of polishing up."

"I'm going to be stuck in a room full of broom polish fumes for three hours and fifteen minutes?" Snape asked with an incredulous look in his eye.

"As if your potions are any better for the lungs." Rolanda said as she opened the door to the Equipment Shed and flicked her wand to light the lamps sitting in the four corners of the room. "Unfortunately, the polish that I buy was developed in such a way that it looks best when used by hand as opposed to magic."

Severus sighed and plopped himself down next to Rolanda, who had gotten several brooms, a jar of polish, and two rags out; and the two worked in silence for several hours. Rolanda finally broke the silence that had settled over the two of them with "How are we going to negotiate the Staff Meeting? We never sit near each other."

"I'm sure that the Headmaster has thought of something." He answered stiffly.

"I suppose you're right."

Dinnertime arrived before they were done, but most of the students had their own brooms nowadays so it didn't really matter. Rolanda made herself a turkey sandwich and a glass of pumpkin juice, and Severus prepared a foul smelling liquid in a coffee mug that looked like a cross between collard greens and Polyjuice Potion. When they finished their meals, Rolanda doused the lights and they made their way back to the castle for the Staff Meeting.

The talking never seemed to end- just talk, talk, talk! Nothing at all interesting or engaging until Auriga Sinistra whispered to Trelawney about the new "seating arrangement" while staring pointedly at Severus and Rolanda. "Did you hear about the new staff romance?" Severus muttered to Rolanda while looking back at Trelawney and Sinistra. Rolanda squeezed his hand in appreciation.

"Thank you all for coming, and have a nice evening." Albus finally said about thirty minutes later. All of the teachers filed out of the staff room, except for Severus, Rolanda, Minerva, and Albus. "How was your day? Do you feel at all better towards each other?"

"No." They said in unison.

"Well, I am sorry to hear that." Albus sighed with a disappointed look in his eyes. "Minerva, would you fancy a game of chess?"

"That would be delightful." He proffered his arm, she took it, and the two walked out in companionable silence.

"Wait!" Rolanda cried.

The two turned and Albus asked "What?"

"What are we supposed to do about sleeping arrangements? I'm not getting into a bed with this _thing_." She jerked her head towards Severus.

"Come now, you two are both adults; you can handle sleeping next to each other!" Albus admonished her and left with Minerva.

Rolanda and Severus stood for a moment and without another word the two walked to the fireplace. "Where to, do you think?" She asked. Snape shrugged and scowled deeply as Rolanda wriggled her right arm again. He tugged her through the fireplace and into his rooms. "Should have known," she said.

Severus switched his robes with pajamas and pulled Rolanda to the bathroom, where he brushed his teeth and stirred a small brew sitting on his hearth before turning to her and saying "I imagine that you will want to sleep in your own bed tonight."

"If I'm not going to get any sleep then at least I can be comfortable." Rolanda sighed as she led Severus through the fire. She then brushed her teeth and switched her robes, then waved her wand over the damaged bedspread from that morning. "Well, uh…"

"Hm,"

"Yes."

"Perhaps you should try getting into the bed."

"I don't need your so called 'wit'!" Rolanda snapped.

"I'm just trying to help. Though I imagine that, what with all of the company you keep up here, you should be quite familiar with sharing your bed."

"Shut up Snape!" Rolanda shrieked. "Just because you're still a virgin doesn't mean that you have a right to cover it up with insults and a salty disposition!"

Snape took as large a step back as possible, seemingly horrified that she would say such a thing. He glared at her for a few moments, then gave her that same odd look from earlier and said "I would prefer if you changed the sheets- I personally don't want to drown in whatever body fluids that may be left over from your date with Bagman."

Rolanda smacked him. Hard. The edges of her vision began to blur, but she fought it off and stared angrily at him. Funny, she thought she saw a look of remorse on his face as her shoulders shook from contained sobs. "You simpering puddle of festering goat urine! How dare you say that!" How did he even know about their date in the first place?

"How dare I say that? How can you live with being the school tart? How can you strut around this school in those skimpy outfits you call robes and sleeping with every male on staff- and I'm sure some females, too." Snape stepped ever closer, his sonorous voice crescendo-ing from a low growl to a shout; his breath heating her cheeks until she just couldn't take it anymore-

She hit him again.

Tears welled in her eyes, she crouched down, and she sobbed into her knees. "You," she cried. "Se-elf serv… serving… demor- or- or- alized… bastard!" Tears continued to run down her face and her breathing grew less and less regulated for what seemed like ages until Severus did the unthinkable- he bent down and put his free hand on her back in a meager attempt to comfort her.

"Rolanda? Listen Rolanda, I'm…" He paused, looking for the right word. "Sorry if I hurt you. I didn't really mean it."

"Li- like hell you di- didn't!"

Severus moved his hand laterally across her back despite the awkwardness generated from their clasped hands. He soon gave up rubbing her back for trying to get her to look at him. After a short while, he surrendered in that endeavor as well and settled for sitting next to her and occasionally squeezing her hand.

A few moments later, Rolanda finally said "I didn't sleep with him."

"It's eleven o'clock, Rolanda."

"You don't believe me."

"That doesn't matter right now, let's just go to bed." Severus stood and helped Rolanda up.

"Yes, it does matter right now!" Rolanda said indignantly.

"Yes, I believe you." He said as he looked straight into her eyes. "Do you want to wash up or anything?"

"No, I'm fine." She said coolly as she led him to her bed.

"You certainly weren't a minute ago."

"You're pushing it."

"Sorry."

Rolanda climbed into bed and moved against the wall to leave as much room between her and Severus as possible. "Good night, Severus." She said as she doused the lights with a flick of her wrist.

"Good night." He was so stiff; it was as if he was made of wood instead of flesh! Not a short while later his deep, regular breathing echoed throughout the room, providing a comforting noise against the cold and darkness that settled in the room whenever Rolanda was alone. She wriggled her right arm once more and fell into a deep, peaceful sleep.

* * *

Well? LONG chapter, huh? 4,700+ words! I'm impressed, personally. I was thinking about adding a little more- like Rolanda recounting her day, but I decided that it's been WAY too long of a day and I just need to go to bed. Goodnight, I hope that a review will await me in my inbox tomorrow! 


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I doubt that if anyone writing on a fanfiction site would be conceited or stupid enough to use their own creation. So, in answer to J.K.'s loverly lawyers breathing down my throat: I don't own this stuff.

Rolanda awoke to the sound of another's deep breathing and the secure sensation of a warm body against hers. She opened her eyes and let out a small squeak of surprise when she saw Severus' face inches from hers, and then lightly shook his shoulder after disentangling herself from him. "Severus?" She shook a little bit harder. "Wakey wakey, potions, quaffles, and bakey!" He seemed to stir, but didn't open his eyes, so she moved closer to him and shouted "Snape!" directly into his ear.

At this, Severus leapt out of bed in a flash and jumped for his wand. Unfortunately, he was still gripping Rolanda's hand and as a result he nearly pulled his arm out of the socket as Rolanda was tugged halfway out of bed. He sighed angrily as he rubbed his shoulder and sat down.

Rolanda brought her head up to his shoulder's level while being careful to not jostle his arm, and then said "Will you grab my wand over there, please?"

He eyed her with a calculating expression and asked "What are you going to do with it?"

"What do you think? Your arm's not going to fix itself, you know." She said as she rested her left hand on his swollen arm. He winced at the touch and removed her hand. "Oh, so do you want to go to the Infirmary? I wouldn't mind explaining to Poppy why I can't give you any breathing space!" She said while gesturing to their entwined fingers.

He sighed and handed her wand over with a defeated expression.

"Now that wasn't so hard, was it?" Rolanda said after fixing his arm.

"Yes."

"Oh, stop that!" She smacked his arm lightly before extending both of her hands as close to the ceiling as she could and yawning. "I for one am finally feeling the negative effects of not showering." Severus gave her a look that was a combination of disdain and 'don't even think about it'. Rolanda stood up and said "Just because you can defy the natural laws of basic human hygienic practices doesn't mean that I can. And stop giving me that look!" She stomped, dragged Severus to her closet, and fished out a set of clean robes.

"I don't care how much you stink; I don't need the emotional scarring that would occur if you were to impose that wet, naked, sack of cat mucus you call a body on my vision!" Severus said as he planted his feet to prevent Rolanda from advancing closer to the bathroom.

"Oh, stop being such a child! Most boys lose their fear of girls by second year!" Rolanda pulled and tugged at Severus, but made very little headway. "Come on, you greasy tapeworm!" The tug-o-war continued for several minutes with neither side dominating the other, until Rolanda stomped on Severus' toe and sprinted to the bathroom.

"You low-blowing succubus!" He cried as Rolanda hung her robes on the locked doorknob and walked to the shower.

"Not even if you begged me." She retorted while flinging the curtain open and grabbing a bottle of shampoo and a bar of soap. "And to think that I thought you would have preferred that particular low blow over a slightly higher one- but I suppose there would have to be something there to actually cause any pain." She put everything down on the counter and aimed her wand at Severus, who immediately pulled his wand out and fell into a defensive position. "Oh, don't worry Sevvie! I'm just going to give you a little blindfold for the time being, nothing serious!"

"I wouldn't allow you to deprive me of my sight even if I had the best protection available to wizardkind." He snorted.

She sighed in defeat and said "Fine, just turn around for a minute, okay?" He complied and Rolanda started to shrug out of her pajama top until her right hand, still conjoined with Snape's left, prevented her from undressing. She performed a quick spell to make her pajama arm intangible for a moment and slid out of it without a hitch. She then summoned a towel, wrapped it around her torso, stepped out of her pants, and turned the water in the sink on.

"What are you doing?" Snape asked with a confused expression on his face as he turned around. Rolanda shrieked and smacked him. He turned back around and whimpered an apology.

"Oh, you're sorry all right! You may not think of me as the most able-minded person in this school, but I remember what I told you to do and if your behavior around the Headmaster is any indicator then you were more than capable of controlling yourself enough to not turn around!"

Severus winced and Rolanda returned her attention to the sink. When the water was at the perfect temperature, she dipped her head into the stream until her hair was soaking wet; then she lathered her hair with the shampoo and rinsed it all out after a few seconds- a fairly difficult task with one hand tied to a man.

"So how did you sleep last night?" She asked while soaping up her face, neck, shoulders, and right arm.

"Decently."

"Not well? Not badly? You can use more descriptive language than 'decently'."

"I woke up around 2:40"

"Why?"

"I don't know." Severus answered while cautiously turning around to face Rolanda, who was rinsing herself off and situating herself in a sitting position on the counter, where she washed her feet and lower legs.

"Are you sure that you don't want to at least try and clean up?"

"Shut up." Severus said after turning around again so Rolanda could change into her robes. Yet again the same problem occurred with the arms, but this time Rolanda simply Switched the towel with her clothes. "I trust that you slept well?"

"Naturally." Rolanda felt a twinge in her bladder and saw Snape hold himself in such a way that it could only mean that he felt the same thing. "So you haven't used the bathroom in at least a day."

"Neither have you."

"Hey, no need for that tone! We're both adults, and believe it or not my toilet works beautifully!" Severus scrutinized her with a practiced eye and she continued with "I'll tell you what- you can go first." He looked as if he were going to refuse until Rolanda turned the water in the sink on and off in quick succession. At that, he swept to the toilet and glared at Rolanda until she turned away. Both of them 'did their business' and came to another problem when they finished: how would they wash their hands? After a few frustrated and tense moments they performed Cleansing Charms on the other's hand.

The two left the bathroom and conjured some breakfast as the sun rose. An owl soon broke the nearly comfortable silence penetrating the room, and the two walked over to let it in. "Hm…" Rolanda said while reading the note from the leg of the old bird.

_Dear Severus and Rolanda,_

_I hope you slept well last night! Minerva and I will be away for most of the morning, so please be as civil as possible toward each other, as no one will be able to prevent any damage the two of you might cause. If I am not mistaken, both of you were planning to take today off anyway, so it will come as no surprise to you that both of your schedules are clear. _

_Have a good day, Albus_

She handed it to Severus the two walked back to the fire to warm up. She then said after a few moments "I can't go an entire day without doing anything."

"That's good, because I have assignments that I need to grade."

"I was thinking more along the lines of being outside."

"We can go outside."

"We?" Rolanda asked and then mentally kicked herself for forgetting about her hand being stuck to his.

Severus raised an eyebrow and said "Of course, the chances of getting frostbite are quite a bit greater than they were yesterday, considering all of the snow that fell last night." He paused to give her an appraising look. "You should be especially worried, considering fat cells have a great deal of water in them."

"You're one to talk!" Rolanda smacked Severus' stomach but was surprised to find that there really was very little there. "Damn!" Even then, she chose not to take offense at what he said simply because she knew he was full of crap. "I was hoping to do something a little more stimulating than watch you grade papers." She said while dragging him to the door. He planted his feet firmly and transfigured his pajamas into clean robes, then allowed himself to be dragged into the hall.

"I don't doubt that you hope to pull me away from my work so you can go prance through the snow like a naïve schoolgirl, but I must inform you that I will be staying inside for a good portion of the day and consequently, so are you." He hissed as they passed a clump of students preparing to go out and play.

"What day is it today?"

"Sunday."

"Oh, great." Rolanda couldn't remember another time when she felt so self conscious, with the exception of her first day of school. It wasn't the odd stares that got her; she had been getting those since the day she was born- it was the whispering. "Where do you think the spiteful gossip started?"

"So far I haven't heard anything to be called spiteful, but considering Trelawney's temper and her tendency to act before thinking tells me that she and Sinistra are behind this."

"Why?"

"Why do you think?"

Rolanda blushed and said "Oh, right… Listen, I really am kind of sorry for that- not the mess I made in your room- but for sicking her on you like that. The two ran into yet another clump of teenagers chittering about current affairs such as who will be named as the new Quidditch Captain next year for Gryffindor and other trivial things, but as the teachers passed all conversation came to a screeching halt until they moved on, where the chattering changed to what sounded suspiciously like teacher-related gossip.

"Worse things have happened- like that mess, for one." Severus replied while taking the lead and sweeping through a side corridor. "If you had retained a bit of composure back there they would have returned to whatever they were talking about before we showed up." He sighed. "And I believe that you said something about Miss Grimm remaining silent about what she saw?"

"What? Baley was back there?" Rolanda asked as she ducked to avoid Sir Nicholas' feet while he rose through the air. "That's strange, was she saying anything? Maybe she was just listening."

Severus sighed with an exacerbated look on his face. "Please, I know that it will be hard for you to do this, but at least try to keep your naïveté to a tolerable level."

"Please excuse me for having a bit of hope in people." She paused, and then asked "Why didn't either of us think of erasing her memory?"

He pinched the bridge of his nose and said "She's so impressionable and stupid that it might have caused permanent brain damage."

At that, Rolanda turned around and pulled Severus back through the hallway, where she peeked around the corner at the students and said "Miss Grimm, may I have a word with you?" The student complied with a tomato red face and followed the two professors into an empty classroom. "Miss Grimm, I'm going to level with you." Rolanda said after offering her a seat.

"What are you talking about, Professor?"

Rolanda sighed deeply and said "Professor Snape and I are… well, first I want to ask you about what you saw yesterday after you left detention."

She paled and immediately shouted "Nothing! Nothing, Madame Hooch, I swear!"

"There's no reason to shout, Baley." Rolanda half cooed in an attempt to calm the girl. "You won't get into any trouble at all, I promise."

Her eyes shot from Rolanda's, to Snape's, to their entwined hands, and back. "I… I just saw you come up from underneath Professor Snape."

Snape glowered at her, and she recoiled. "Oh no, don't worry about a thing! You see, I was coming up from underneath Professor Snape's_ desk, _oh, that doesn't sound at all better…" Rolanda leaned against a dust covered table and said "Well, Professor Snape and I are… in a sticky situation. You may have noticed that we have been spending a great deal of time together?"

Baley nodded, and said "Oh, well we weren't- I wasn't talking about that, ma'am!"

"I don't doubt that at all, Baley. I just wanted to rectify the situation; seeing what you saw can be quite hard on the nerves!" Baley nodded at this. "You see, Professor Snape and I are, well, stuck together." Rolanda wiggled her right arm and received a killing look from Snape.

"I'm sorry, ma'am."

Rolanda hid a grin and said "So you have a better understanding of what you saw now?"

"Yes, Madame Hooch."

"Excellent! I'm glad that we have that straightened out. Oh, and remember to try and keep this on the down low."

"Yes; good day, Madame Hooch. Professor Snape." Baley rushed out of the classroom in a cloud of dust.

"I told you that she's a nice girl."

"She's a liar and a coward."

"Now Snape, that isn't true and you know it."

"Just because she's from your House and a halfway decent flyer doesn't mean that she carries the Ravenclaw…_ ideals_" he sneered, and continued; "on her shoulder."

"I always thought that Ravenclaw was more about intelligence and chivalry." Rolanda countered while opening the door.

"Chivalry is Gryffindor."

"There's still intelligence and wisdom."

"I don't doubt her mental capacity. I was merely pointing out that she's an underhanded, cowardly twat!"

"You know that that's not true at all! If it were true, she would be under your care in Slytherin."

"Come off it; you saw how she shivered at the sound of your voice!"

"I believe that you were the one to scare her like that." By this time, the two had walked almost halfway to the Great Hall and probably would have continued their argument had it not been for Rolanda catching a glimpse of Ludo Bagman down the corridor. "Oh crap!"

Severus seamlessly ushered Rolanda into a spare room and asked "So if you didn't sleep with him, why is he here?"

"He could have come to see the Headmaster, and that doesn't make any sense! If I did sleep with him, then why would he come back? Ludo doesn't exactly have the largest attention span in the world; he would have given up by now." She pressed her ear against the door for a moment, and asked "Why do you keep bringing this up, anyhow?"

"Bagman may have ADHD most of the time, but when it comes to sex he's more attentive than a professional Seeker to a Snitch."

"Nice analogy. Like I said, you've brought it up at least twice already. Why?" She rested her back against the door and put her free hand on an oddly placed hinge.

"That doesn't matter right now." Severus whispered while leaning forward and Rolanda shrank back in alarm until she realized that he was listening for footsteps as she had done earlier. He put his right hand on her arm, pulled his ear away from the door, and stepped a little closer, his eyes boring into hers and peering into the dark depths of her soul.

Rolanda's breath caught in her throat and she tried to look away, but she failed. "Severus." She murmured while putting her left hand against his shoulder.

He blinked and closed his slightly parted lips. He then blew on her forehead and said "You had a bug on your forehead."

The sound of a voice near the door caught the air in their throats. "So you haven't seen Rolanda anywhere today?" Bagman's voice burst. A muffled reply came from what sounded suspiciously like Trelawney. "Oh, in her room? Of course. Thank you!"

"Great; once again you're right, and once again it doesn't make me at all happy." Rolanda whispered. Snape gave her an accusing look until Ludo's steps disappeared and jerked her through the doorway and all the way to his dungeons.

He planted himself in a chair and conjured a large stack of papers and a mug of coffee. He gave her an incriminating look and proceeded to read through the assignment on the top of the stack.

"So are you a talented procrastinator or do you just enjoy overloading students?" Rolanda said while placing herself in the stool she used yesterday during the first detention.

"The students here are more than capable of doing all of the work assigned to them and then some- they simply choose not to."

"That can't be true in all cases! Many of my students come to me asking for a free period to try and whittle away at their work."

"I hope that you didn't actually allow them to do so. If they had actually utilized their time given to them during class and in the evening, then they wouldn't need free periods at all."

"So because that's what you were like in school, you expect everyone else to be held to the same standard?"

"Naturally."

Rolanda slumped forward to rest her chin on her palm, which was in turn being supported by her elbow on the desk. "You sounded like you knew a lot about how women and children gossip today."

"I know about how men gossip, too."

She sighed and said "You know a little too much for my liking. Where did you learn about the subtleties of common female conversation?"

"I have my ways." A knock on the door interrupted whatever Rolanda was going to say and prompted her to hurriedly crawl under the desk. "Enter." Snape called in a bored and indifferent voice.

"Ah, hello Severus. I need to have a quick word with you."

"Of course, Auriga."

"I realize that this has nothing to do with me whatsoever, but I really must know what's going on between you, Sybil, and" She paused for a moment before spitting out the next name with a sneer "Hooch."

"Nothing, and to be honest with you, I wouldn't mind if there was something between us- both Sybil and Rolanda are beautiful women, and I am a man."

"I suppose that you could say that." Auriga responded as she ambled up to Severus' desk and rested the tips of her fingers against the oak edge. "Well, I just spoke with Sybil this morning and she said that you were making advances towards her last night."

"I am afraid that Sybil is a bit mistaken. It's true that certain," he paused "things occurred between us yesterday, but I initiated absolutely none of it."

"I see." Auriga stated flatly. "And what of the other?"

"Madame Hooch?" She nodded. "She and I have," he thought about it for a moment before continuing "issues over the Slytherin House Team's use of the Quidditch Pitch. Apparently, she thinks that the 'first come, first serve' rule shouldn't apply to practices."

"That's ridiculous!" She exclaimed. "Why in the world would she think that it should be any other way?"

"I don't know."

"So you and" she paused again to curl her lip into an impressive sneer "Hooch have just been discussing practice times?"

"Yes."

"Nothing else?"

"Absolutely nothing at all."

Auriga let out a relieved sounding sigh and walked back through the door after saying goodbye.

"'They're both beautiful women, and I am a man.'" Rolanda quoted with a hint of amusement in her voice as she sat back down. "That was beautiful."

"I'm one of the most talented liars in Great Britain, you know."

"You are hilarious." She said. "You were speaking incredibly freely to Sinistra just then."

"If you don't speak like that to her, she'll think that you were lying."

"You _were_ lying."

"She doesn't know that."

"That's not the point."

"Then what is? That she's one barging-in away from finding you and I together for no better reason than we like the feeling of each other's hands?" Snape violently shook his left hand and leaned back with a huff. Rolanda suddenly started to raucously laugh, and he asked "What?"

"N- nothing!" She continued to howl with merriment for some time longer until she finally managed to wrestle out the words "She has the HOTS for you!" between flashes of giggles. "Sinistra's dreaming of the big, bad Potions Master to swoop into her room and give her a 'detention'! That's rich!"

Severus glared at her and asked "Are you done?"

"Not yet! That's fantastic, we could get a nice little love trapezoid going here! On the other hand, Sinistra and Trelawney won't have anything to do with me, so you'll have to tough it out with being part of a trio and a couple on the side!"

"That still isn't funny."

"Oh, yes it is!"

"Just stop laughing, woman!" Snape bellowed as he jumped up and slammed his fist on his desk.

Rolanda quieted down a bit and said "It's still funny." She bugged her eyes out until they looked like Sybil's and said "I see a certain tall and dark teacher's taut, sexy buttocks in my crystal orb!" She then stood and switched gears to a Sinistra impersonation: "You can put your moon in my Seventh House any time you like, my Venusian love-slave!"

He pinched the bridge of his nose while he sank back into his chair.

"Just promise me that you won't be inviting anyone to join you for any midnight activities until I'm free." She folded her right leg over her left and conjured two glasses of pumpkin juice.

Severus returned to his grading without another word, and the silence remained unbroken until Rolanda let out a very quiet laugh when Severus actually accepted the pumpkin juice she gave him.

Around lunchtime, Rolanda jumped up and stretched, then wriggled her arm until Severus looked up in annoyance. "Come on, Snapey-poo! It's time to do something other than kill me with the sound your stupid quill scratching against innumerable sheets of parchment! Oh, why don't we go outside for a walk, okay? Walk?" She stooped over and patted her leg while speaking in a high and annoying voice.

"DON'T talk to me like I'm a dog!" Snape bellowed as he leapt up and slammed his fist on the desk.

"Where did 'like' come from?" Rolanda flinched to avoid could have potentially been a rather forceful blow after that remark. "Somebody's got their skivvies in a twist."

Snape breathed heavily through his nostrils, his anger growing like a fanned flame with every intake of air. She could have sworn that he was going to throw a punch at her, but after a few minutes of growing tension he let it subside in one exhale.

"Do you want to do anything after lunch?" Rolanda asked softly.

"I want to get away from you. Anything other than that would be completely inadequate."

She stopped for a moment with a hurt look on her face, but covered it up before he could see- she wanted to get away from him as much as he from her. "I was thinking something a little bit more…" she searched for the word, "likely to occur by the end of this next meal."

He uttered a small charm to organize the graded papers while he tugged Rolanda to the fireplace. "No, nothing will help recall the feelings of joy that I experienced before you showed up and muddled yourself in my affairs. Hogwarts Kitchens."

When the two emerged, Rolanda asked "What do you mean 'muddled in my affairs'? I rarely seek you out at all- that prank I pulled in your rooms was the only thing that I've done that affects you in at least a year! Everything else that has gotten us into trouble originated with you!"

"Leprechaun's Gold I'm the one who sparked everything between us! That's one of the biggest and least convincing lies to escape your loose, disease-ridden lips!" Snape spat before grabbing the shoulder of the nearest House Elf, "You!"

"Y- yes, sir?" The elf squeaked and trembled. "May I h- help you?"

"What's ready?"

The elf couldn't respond for fear until Snape's grip tightened on its tea towel, where it said in a frightened rush "Sou- soup, salad, sandwiches- oh pleasesirdon'thurtme!"

Rolanda huffed and pulled the elf from Snape's hand and said "Now look at what you've done!" She bent down to the shaking creature's height and said in a low and gentle voice "Ssh; it's okay. Will you get us each a sandwich and a bowl of soup?"

The elf straightened up, emboldened by Rolanda's gentle manner. "Yes, right away!"

It rushed off to prepare the meal, and Rolanda called out "We'll be my rooms!"

"What do you mean by that?"

"What do you mean 'what do you mean'? We're eating where it doesn't smell like stale Mandrake Root.

"Bagman's waiting for you."

"Oh, come off it! It's been hours! He's had to given up by now; for today, at least."

"He's so enticed by the smell of you perfume that he's probably on your bed right now, taking in the scent on your pillows and sheets."

They went through the fireplace back to Severus' classroom and stood for a moment in thoughtful silence. "He can't get inside my rooms because he doesn't have the password."

"I thought the same about you and Trelawney."

"Don't forget Sinistra."

"What?"

"Nothing."

Snape harrumphed and was unwillingly pulled back through the fireplace to Rolanda's rooms.

"See? No Ludo here!"

"Wait." Snape clenched Rolanda's mouth shut until they heard a flush come from the bathroom, which prompted Snape to shove both of them under the bed in the blink of an eye. Ludo emerged, grabbed a bouquet, placed it gently on Rolanda's pillow with a note and a small box, and left the room with a meager-looking swish of his cloak in comparison to what Severus was capable of.

They climbed back up from under the bed and Rolanda said "He was leaving me flowers."

"He has been 'leaving you flowers' for most of the day."

"Be realistic; he was probably waiting for me for a bit and then gave up."

"If anyone's not being realistic it's you- this morning you were spewing out all of this garbage about how Bagman's attention span rarely holds." Severus ran his wand over the parcels that Ludo left while waiting for a reply.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm waiting for you to respond."

"I don't have an answer; now tell me what you're doing!"

Snape sighed and said "I was checking for any," he paused "foul play."

"Snape, how many times do I have to tell you that I can handle myself?"

He clenched her left shoulder and forced her to face him head-on. "You don't know anything about how Bagman plays; you're lucky to still be standing right now because once he gets a hold on you he won't stop until he's too tired to stay awake for another go." He whispered in a dangerously low and angry voice, and he then did the unthinkable- he pulled Rolanda into a tight, one-armed hug. "You have no idea what Bagman's really about."

Rolanda wrapped her arm around Severus' waist and relaxed her whole body against his. His thumb circled between her shoulder blades and slowly crept up to her neck and into her hair, where he moved to and along her jaw line until he got to her chin. He then tilted her face upward to look into his eyes that were normally so cold, but as Rolanda stared into them she saw warmth that she didn't know existed. As Severus closed the gap between their slightly parted lips, they heard a tiny squeak from the fireplace.

Severus and Rolanda flew away from each other, each with light blushes heating their faces. "Thank you." Rolanda said as she took the tray from the surprised looking elf. "Don't worry about being so behind, we probably shouldn't have asked you to fix anything until you were done with the student body's lunch."

"It's no trouble at all!" The elf squeaked before disappearing to the Kitchens.

Rolanda tossed the tray onto the coffee table and plopped down into a chair after grabbing a sandwich. "Who do you think will win this upcoming match?"

"You mean the one that's at least three weeks away?" Severus snapped. "I didn't think that you chose sides in Quidditch games. Well, I was told that referees were supposed to avoid doing, at any rate."

"I was just trying to make conversation, and I was curious about whom you might be rooting for, considering that neither Slytherin nor Gryffindor are playing."

"I would never root for Gryffindor."

"I didn't say that you would."

"You suggested it."

"What I meant was that if Gryffindor played, then you would support whoever was playing against them. Slytherin is your own house, so it would be natural to come out in silver and green, but this time it's Ravenclaw against Hufflepuff, so I don't know who you would want to put your gold on." Rolanda explained.

Severus thought about it for a moment and said "Hufflepuff has a very talented Keeper this year, and Ravenclaw's Chasers are the worst the house has seen in quite a long time, but the Ravenclaw Seeker is more than capable of finishing the game in minutes flat." He paused, "On the other hand, the Hufflepuff Beaters have been clever enough to realize that if they go after the opposing team's Seeker enough, they might stand a chance."

"So what's your verdict?"

He grabbed a sandwich and took a healthy bite, then said "Ravenclaw."

"Why?"

"Hufflepuffs tend to crack under pressure, while these Ravenclaws seem to thrive under it."

"I see where you're going with that." Rolanda popped the last bite of sandwich into her mouth and followed it with water. "How's your sandwich?"

"I've made better."

"So you're not only one of Britain's authorities on potion-making, but also an accomplished chef? I never would have guessed."

"Why not? Cooking and potion-making are incredibly similar."

"I just didn't make the connection." She said while reaching for the bowl of soup waiting for her. "Mm, now this is good."

"It looks overcooked."

"It isn't at all. Mm, I can never get the garlic to be just right- it's always overpowering or practically nonexistent."

"Try using bigger cloves and sautéing them with the other vegetables before adding them."

"That will work?"

"Yes." Severus finished his sandwich and balanced his bowl on his knee like Rolanda. "This is good."

"I told you so."

"I never doubted you."

"You never said that you doubted me."

"Exactly."

"That doesn't mean that you didn't think it." The meal continued in this fashion until both bowls were empty and Rolanda "Shushed" Severus as the pulled him to her bed.

"Rolanda, this is so sudden! I never knew that you had such strong feelings for me!" Snape drawled in a sarcastic tone.

"Sod off." Rolanda replied as she sat down next to the bouquet and opened the neatly folded note resting on the box.

_Dearest Rolanda,_

_I pine for you as the ocean to the moon and the sun to the dawn! My cherished rose, I hope that these flowers, though not as beautiful as you are, may somehow demonstrate my feelings for you. The summer's day that blossoms in my heart could very well be expressed in this small token of appreciation, and it would send me into an eternal spring if you will accept it._

_You may or may not approve of my fawning on you so extensively, but if you understand my deep, yearning desire to be close to you, then perhaps you will join me for dinner on Tuesday night?_

_Until you reply, I am lost in a valley of ever-darkening loneliness and despair, my love._

_Ludo _

"That is possibly the most disgusting thing to ever be read." Severus stated flatly. "You'd think that he would at least put some effort into his love notes.

"Hey, go away!" Rolanda whined. She then turned her attention to the box and was pleasantly surprised to find a silver ring inside. Despite Snape's quickly deteriorating attitude, she still managed to feel very pleased as she wriggled the ring on using her thumb and mouth.

"Wonderful, a ring. Next he'll be sending you a wedding dress and veil set."

"Will you just be quiet? Or at least do a better job of being indifferent."

Snape sighed and said "I still have papers to grade." That was the last word spoken between them for the rest of the day.

As evening approached, Rolanda couldn't take any more sitting around and listening to that stupid man think. "Now we're going to do something completely different, and you're going to like it!" She started to drag Severus to the door, but Albus stepped through the fireplace and stopped both in their tracks.

"Ah, so both of you are still alive. Have either of you reaped the benefits of each other's company yet?" When no one responded, he continued. "I see. Well, Minerva came up with a wonderful idea- the two of you should tell each other about your childhood or other personal experiences of that nature. Perhaps you should do that after dinner? Why don't you join Minerva and I in the Great Hall?" That was more of an order than a question, and everyone present knew it.

"Yes sir, we'll be up in a few minutes." Severus replied.

"Wonderful; I'll see you there." Albus walked through the door and into the hallway without another word.

Severus stomped to the fireplace and Flooed them to his rooms where he rinsed his face off in the bathroom and stirred the contents of the potion from the night before. "Knowing the Headmaster, he'll expect us to do anything to keep suspicion down in terms of foul play, although I doubt he realized that our willingly walking about hand in hand will spark an endless number of unanswerable questions."

"Not unanswerable," Rolanda said, "just uncomfortable."

"Either way, I'll be damned if my reputation suffers because of you."

"Your reputation?" Rolanda fumed. "What about mine? Imagine the looks on everyone's faces if the world's most disgusting sack of river mud was seen with a woman! It would be a disaster!"

"Yes, you definitely have the hard life- being loved by all of the students, teaching three courses per year, and having the privilege of flying around all day! Oh, how can you stand it?" He spat "If I had a Knut for every time you had a right to complain about your job, I would be the poorest man in history." The two walked through the hallways and stairs until they were one floor away from the Great Hall without speaking the entire time.

"So you have the harder job during the school year. I don't know if you have a summer job, but I doubt that it even compares to mine."

"Are you ready?"

"Why not?"

They descended the stairs and stepped through the last corridor between them and their lost reputations with trepidation, preparing themselves for the worst. "Remember: keep your composure."

"Shut up, I know what I'm doing."

"I doubt that." He snapped as they took confident strides through to the Staff Table and sat in their usual seats.

"Severus, go ahead and take Sibyl's seat tonight- I'll take care of it." Albus said a moment before Sibyl appeared in the Hall.

"Thank you, Sir." Severus said after moving to Sibyl's seat.

"Sibyl! It's such a pleasure to see you!" Rolanda said with a smile pasted on her face.

"Rolanda." Sibyl muttered in a clipped tone as she stood just behind Severus. "I believe that you are sitting in my seat."

Severus turned and opened his mouth to reply when Albus interrupted him with "I needed to speak with you about a student, and Severus was kind enough to give up his seat so we could discuss it over dinner- I know how busy your schedule is."

"Oh, of course!" Sibyl swept into the empty seat at the Headmaster's side and quickly delved into the conversation.

"What time is it?" Rolanda asked.

"Guess."

"Come on- I'm serious!"

"So am I." Rolanda huffed at Severus' answer and didn't say another word until the end of the evening. "That was one of the most delightful evenings that I have ever spent with you." He drawled while waiting for everyone to file out of the Great Hall.

"Yes, sitting near you is one of the greatest joys of my life."

Severus quickly jumped up and caught the Headmaster before he left. "Sir, may I have a word with you?"

"I'm sorry Severus, but you know that you cannot have a private conversation with me until you and Rolanda are on better terms with each other."

"What I mean is '_We_ need to have a word with you.'"

"Much better!" Albus replied. "May I ask what the two of you needed to speak with me about?"

"Well, we have been doing quite better over the course of this…'treatment', wouldn't you say?"

"Yes, you have- from what I've seen. You have to keep in mind that Minerva and I haven't been able to properly observe you." Albus started walking to his office, and the two teachers followed.

Severus looked as if he were about to explode for a moment, but regained control before he lost control. "I am merely proposing that because we have been doing so well, we should be given private shower time." He continued in a low voice.

"Only showers? Nothing else?"

"Of course not- anything to do with the bathroom, really."

"Are you feeling alright, Severus?"

"What do you mean, Sir?"

"Well, you're being awfully open about this- it's not like you to be so forward, or even so shy. Sugar Quills." The gargoyle guarding the Headmaster's office stepped to the side with a bow and a flourish.

Severus stopped, seemingly not wanting to go any further.

Albus turned around and said "I'll discuss it with Minerva and get back to you tomorrow morning" before disappearing up the stairs.

"You tried, at least." Rolanda offered.

"Sod off."

The two walked back to Rolanda's rooms, only stopping to give a pair of students caught snogging behind a statue of Everard the Contortionist each a detention and fifty points off of their respective Houses. "Why do you always call him 'Sir'?"

"He's the Headmaster."

"That doesn't mean that you should always just call him 'Sir'."

"I don't see any reason why not."

"Hamish's Bitches." Rolanda's door opened at the sound of the password, though it was hardly necessary considering that it was unlocked. "He's your employer, but he's also a good man and seems to be your friend, though I can't see why anyone would want to associate with you outside of necessity."

"'Hamish's Bitches'?" Severus asked. "I do call him 'Albus' from time to time- outside of work. I, unlike one I could mention, know the appropriate time for various titles."

"Hm…" Rolanda jabbed her wand at the fireplace and sat down. "If you must know, when I was still in professional Quidditch I earned that name with Ariah McGavin."

"I remember now."

"What?" She did a double take, surprised by Severus' apparently forgotten knowledge of her Quidditch career.

"McGavin, Hooch, and Wright" he sat and stared into the fire, "the best Chasers in the professional circuit to ever play on the same team."

"Exactly; I didn't know that you followed professional Quidditch!"

"I don't."

"How do you know about…?" Rolanda trailed off uncertainly.

"I _followed_ Quidditch."

"Not anymore? What happened?"

"I don't know." He paused and caught her eyes. "I still don't remember any 'Hamish's Bitches.'"

"Well, that was because it was more of a private joke with the team." Rolanda leaned back and soaked up the warmth with a smile of reminiscence. "If you recall, Ariah and I had nearly identical builds, but you probably don't remember that she and Hamish Wright were married."

"The first time Ludo Bagman commentated he couldn't tell you apart without Omniculars."

"That was rather strange of him, come to think of it- Ariah's hair went down to her lower back when it was in a braid!" She squeezed Severus' hand. "'Hamish's Bitches' was born because of that game!

"You're not going to want to hear this next part."

"I think that I can handle whatever you're going to say."

"Well, Ariah and I spent so much time together we started to cycle together."

Severus blinked several times and looked at her oddly.

"Stop giving me that look! I told you that you wouldn't want to hear it!"

"That explains why you were playing so ferociously that night."

"It was just like any other game- I would never allow my hormones to affect my performance."

"You made the Keeper on the opposing team wet himself!"

"I did not!" Rolanda said indignantly.

"Whatever you say."

"Fine." After a few moments, Rolanda continued with her story. "Back to the story; we were goofing off after the game when Hamish turned Ariah and I into dogs."

Severus laughed at the pun.

"You just laughed!"

"I didn't realize that it was a play on words!" Severus contorted and writhed in his seat until he could hardly breathe.

"It wasn't that funny." At that moment, Albus stepped through the fireplace and smiled at Rolanda with a knowing twinkle in his eye.

"Good evening, Rolanda and Severus."

Severus wiped a bit of spittle from his lips and said "Good evening, Albus."

Albus settled himself in the love seat and asked "Did I come at a bad time?"

"Oh, not at all!" Rolanda exclaimed. "Would you like some tea?"

"Yes please!" She handed him a lightly steaming cup. "Rolanda, you are the greatest tea-conjurer the world has ever known."

"Thank you."

"Mm! As I was saying, I spoke with Minerva and we decided that tomorrow, if you both get along, we can discuss the idea of private showers."

"Thank you." Severus and Rolanda said in unison.

"Well, that's all that I wanted to tell you both…" Albus said as he stood and grabbed a pinch of Floo Powder. "Is there anything that you wanted to talk about before I go?"

"No, nothing at all." Rolanda beamed.

"If that's the case, then I suppose that I should be going." He threw the powder over the flames and stepped through to his rooms.

"I need to go to my rooms for a moment." Severus said coldly.

"Is there something wrong?"

Severus gave her an odd look and said "No."

"You were just so happy a moment ago, and now you're… sullen."

"I think that you're imagining things." He pulled her through the fireplace and into his rooms before adding "Did you see that new note from Bagman on your coffee table?"

Rolanda's eyebrows shot up. "Another one?"

That potion emitted small bursts of thick fog every few seconds until Severus took it off the heat and poured it all into a fairly large beaker- a fairly impressive task for one using just one hand.

"Why did you pour it into such a large beaker?"

"It will expand overnight as it cools." He reached up to put it on a high shelf but it slipped out of his grasp and spilled all over his head and shoulders and in the blink of an eye Rolanda found herself in the shower, watching him as he rinsed himself off.

When it was all over and Severus was about to turn the shower off, Rolanda stopped him and adopted a predatory grin as she jerked her sleeves up with her teeth and grabbed a bottle of shampoo. "I didn't know that you even owned any of this!"

"Get away from me!" He whinnied as he backed away from her with his eyes slightly bulging.

She laughed and said "Don't worry, Sevvie! It'll all be over in a minute." At that, she looped her right arm around him, squirted a dollop of shampoo in his hair, dropped the bottle, and lathered vigorously.

Snape tried to step out of the tub but Rolanda caught him and pinned his legs against the wall with her own. He wormed his right hand up to her shoulder and tried to push her away until her robes were wet enough to make his hand slip over and over again. She grabbed his ear and steered him to the running water for a rinse and as she was reaching for the conditioner he grabbed her hand and shoved her against the wall after wriggling out of her stranglehold. Then the strangest thing happened- he smiled as if he was somehow taking all of this in extremely good humor!

"What's wrong, Sevvie?" He said nothing as he descended upon her, pressing his body against hers, his eyes drooping halfway shut. Her lips tingled as he crept closer and drew his right hand from her left to caress her face and neck. She brushed her lips against his and he pulled back for a moment, then he slipped his hand down her back and kissed her. She tried to deepen the kiss, but he suddenly sprang back over the tub's edge in a momentary panic.

"I…I'm-" His eyes roved about the room, trying to avoid looking at her. "Are you-?"

Rolanda laughed and turned the water off, a knot of tension growing in her stomach. "I'm sorry."

His features softened and he said "Don't be sorry!" as he helped her out of the tub. "I'm the one who should be sorry."

"No, I shouldn't have done that in the first place." She unstuck her robes from her legs and twisted them around over the side of the tub to wring them out. An eternity passed before she could break the awkward silence. "So… why do you have conditioner in your shower?"

"It was my-" He gulped, "Girlfriend's." No wonder he was acting so oddly! "Well, ex-girlfriend's."

She reached for her wand to perform a Drying Charm, but realized that she must have left her wand in her room. "Do you have your wand on hand?"

"Of course-" He stopped, "I'm afraid not." He grabbed two towels from the cupboard and turned away after handing one over to Rolanda.

"Who was she?" She asked while unbuttoning her outer robes.

"Anitra Howl." Severus muttered through his towel as he dried his hair.

"Anitra? She was my team captain for three years!" She shrugged off her robes and allowed them to be suspended by her right hand, and then moved on to her shirt. "How is she?"

"I haven't seen her for awhile."

"How long has it been?"

"I think that it's been about eight months."

She moved on to unlacing her boots and pouring the water into the tub. "When did you start seeing her?"

"About a year and a half ago, I think." He wrestled out of his wet robes and allowed them to hang limp next to Rolanda's.

"Oh." Rolanda stated while going over her head and torso with the towel. "Why didn't I see her around?"

"For the most part we kept our activities off campus."

"Except when she stayed the night."

"I don't think that I want to talk about that, if you don't mind."

"I don't mind at all." Questions burned inside of her, making the knot swell.

"How long have you been seeing Bagman?"

"I'm not really seeing him."

"Right." He dropped his pants and jerked his shoes off, "I may not have quite as much… _experience _as you, but I can smell the relationship from the other side of Hogwarts." He laid his pants on the side of the tub and toweled his lower body off.

"You should get checked for a sinus infection, then." She wrapped her towel around herself after discarding as many clothes as she could with the exception of her bra and underwear.

They both listened for each other to finish drying off, and when the room was completely silent for several minutes, they turned to face each other again. "You may not like this suggestion," Severus said as he walked to his sink and retrieved a pair scissors from his medicine cabinet "but we could always repair our clothes later."

Rolanda looked from the scissors, to Severus, and back to the scissors. "Why not?"

Severus pulled the left sleeve of his robes back up and snipped along the seam until they fell to the ground; he then waited for Rolanda to shrug the sleeves back up her arm so he could cut cleanly and effectively. She watched as he cut and noticed the dark tattoo laid out across his forearm, and when he saw where she was looking he dropped his head and angled his arm to hide the abomination upon his skin. They both gathered up their clothes and laid them out in front of the fire to dry.

"Here," Severus muttered as he pulled Rolanda to his bedroom door "I can't quite recall, but I believe that Anitra left some clothes here."

"Thanks," Rolanda said. She looked around the room while Severus rooted around in his dresser and saw that her so-called 'present' was still there. "I heard that Ludo was also a Death Eater."

"You heard correctly." He pulled out a blue undershirt and a pair of cotton shorts for her, and as he handed them over he said "This is it" in a defeated tone.

"Perfect!" She replied in an overly hyped-up voice to compensate for his disappointment with his modest offering. Severus grabbed some clothes for himself and they both turned around so they could change. Rolanda dropped her towel and pulled the slightly too large undershirt on over her legs and then torso, then tugged on the light shorts as Severus also changed his clothes. She then grabbed the scissors from where Severus placed them on the dresser, cut the strap from her bra, and took it off.

"That looks so ridiculous."

"Oh, as if you look any better!" Rolanda jeered defensively before turning around and eating her words. Under all of those robes, Severus had a very lean, tight build, and he definitely knew how to go without a shirt.

"I meant the strap." He flicked the dislodged strap hanging beneath Rolanda's right arm with a shadow of a grin.

"Oh." She followed him out of his bedroom and was about to walk to the sofa when she was pulled in another direction. "What are you doing?"

"I need to redo that potion, of course." He put several vials in a new cauldron along with two cloth bags and carried it all to the fireplace. He then took a mortar and pestle and began to grind various dry ingredients found in the vials together until they were a thing paste, then he put it in the cauldron along with something that looked suspiciously like blood.

"That's jicama, those are jasmine leaves, that's parsley, and those are cinnamon sticks. Are you making a dry rub for hippogriff meat or something?"

He sighed and his brow furrowed. "Those are just simple binding agents- the real focus is the Blood Stem draft."

"What? Jicama isn't used as a binding agent." She picked up one of the bags and weighed it in her palm.

"It's rarely used as such, but in this case it is essential for its starch content."

"You could have used potatoes."

"Potatoes aren't common binding agents either and contain twice the fat." He plucked the bag from her hand and slowly worked it open with his right hand, then dumped the contents into a petri dish.

"Is that hair?"

"Yes." He put the cauldron on the hearth and put the vials he used away.

"Are you making food poison?"

"No."

"I'm not that dumb, Snape. You're using cooking ingredients that could easily be replaced with far more useful things, combining them with a Blood Stem draft, and then expecting me to believe that you're not trying to unobtrusively poison someone?"

"Fool!" He hissed as he quickly descended upon her. "Do you really believe that I would prepare a poison in front of you?" Rolanda shrank back, and he took the opportunity to advance. "Blood Stem drafts, though poisonous in large quantities when ingested, are used for skin-related maladies! The only reason that I am not using more common binding agents is to combat the smell and light burning that results from putting heated Blood Stem draft on the skin!" Yet again Rolanda stepped away, and yet again Severus stepped closer. "Just so you know- Blood Stem drafts lose their poisonous properties after being cooked."

"Oh," Rolanda muttered. She was suddenly very conscious of Severus' chest brushing against hers, and the smell of the shampoo that she attacked him with sent whirlwinds of olfactory-themed pleasure coursing through her veins. Although he was finished lecturing her, he didn't make any move to step away- and she wasn't sure if she wanted him to. His hair brushed her cheek and broke the spell; he leapt back and stalked over to see if his clothes were dry before pacing angrily back and forth for several minutes. "Severus! Stop it right now!"

"What?" He asked in a frustrated tone.

"Stop pacing! You're driving me up the wall!"

In response, Snape stalked over to the sofa and sat down in a huff. "Better?"

"Yes, much." Rolanda sat next to him and yawned.

"Have you ever been Transfigured into a wide-mouthed tree frog?"

"Yes, every day. Why?" Rolanda rolled her eyes as she leaned back against the warm cloth covering the cushions. Severus stifled a large yawn, leaned his head back, and closed his eyes. "Eight months seems to be an awfully long time to hold on to conditioner."

"It probably is."

"Why did you keep it for that long?"

"I don't know."

"Do you still have feelings for her?"

"_Why_ are you asking so many questions, woman?" Snape hissed as his head snapped up and turned to look at her.

"I'm just curious, is all."

"I heard that curiosity killed the cat."

"I'll be sure to tell McGonagall next time I see her."

The corners of Severus' mouth twitched upward and his neck relaxed to allow his head to rest against the back of the sofa.

"Why don't you even try to befriend any of the students?"

"Why should I? They seem to hate me right from the onset- why should I try to be in the least bit sociable when they don't want me to?" He sighed and slumped in seat. "'_The best reason that I can give you is that I'm the Hogwarts' Scapegoat. If anything at all is wrong in you life, don't get down- blame Snape!_'"

"You know that that's not true at all!"

"Think about it. Stew it over for a few days and tell me about it when I feel like being lectured over things that have already been addressed between every single individual to ever work at Hogwarts and I."

Rolanda huffed and crossed her legs. "I'm just saying that if you weren't such an ass most of the time, people might warm up to you a little bit faster."

"I don't want to talk about it." Severus took a deep, relaxed breath and suddenly jumped up to check on his clothes.

"Why don't we just Floo back to my rooms with the clothes and repair them there?"

"Because I have to check on my potion in five minutes."

"We can still nip off to my rooms and come back with our wands."

"We could." Rolanda smiled, and Severus asked "What?"

"I don't think that I have ever convinced you to do anything before!"

"You still haven't." He leaned forward in his seat and looked back to her before saying "I was agreeing with you- I would have reached the same conclusion if I so chose, but I didn't feel the need to get my wand."

"That's strange, coming from a Death Eater."

Severus jumped up and towered menacingly over Rolanda, making her shiver all over. "I am no longer a Death Eater- do you understand?" He growled.

"Yes." Rolanda whimpered as she shrunk in her seat. Severus sat back down and sighed. He then reached his hand out and summoned a bottle of whiskey from the cabinet. He downed a good portion straight from the bottle and rested his forehead against the cool glass. "Please don't drink." Rolanda gently pushed the bottle away and rested her hand on his upper arm.

"Why not?" He asked after another quick swill.

"Because it's disgusting and won't make you feel better. And I'll drink."

He proffered the bottle to her and said "The alcohol content is so high that anything I left behind should be dead by now."

She winced at the offering and knew that she should refuse, but she took it anyway. "Damn, Snape! They don't even make this anymore!"

"I'm just using the bottle; it's a home-brew." She whiffed it before pinching her eyes shut and gulped a bit down.

"Amazing."

"I'll take that as a compliment." For the next few hours they took turns with the blessed whiskey until Severus spoke. "To the Queen of Hearts, may she always be able to tell the difference between a King and a Joker." He sloshed the brew down his throat and passed the bottle back.

"To my Hooded Cobra- may he nevershed his lustrous scales." With that, she finished off the bottle, curled into a partial fetal position, and rested her head against Severus' shoulder, where his soft locks caressed her face. "You really aren't so bad."

"Thanks. You're not the worst person I know, either." He draped his left arm over her shoulders and steered her face towards his with his right hand. They locked eyes and crept ever closer to each other until their lips brushed together and Rolanda closed her eyes and melted into his warm, solid body.


End file.
